i want to go to there

the n&a is not known for having good editorial cartoons but every now and then, they make me chuckle

stuffhipstershate:

Buying You a Drink

The conversation’s going well. Filled with scorn for the other patrons of Royal Joke (excuse me, Royal Oak), you lean on the bar and impress him with your knowledge of late 80’s post-hardcore punk rock (“Oh, so you guys sorta sound like Fugazi?”) and your excellent taste in film (“Clockwork Orange has been my favorite movie since I was, like, 14…oh I know, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the most fucking annoying movie ever made.”) But despite his intention to bring you home later (a decision he came to, like, an hour ago), dude isn’t going to buy you a drink.

He’ll conveniently excuse himself to visit the restroom when your whisky soda gets low, watching carefully from the shadowy corner so he can return when you’ve already put away your wallet. Or he’ll just continue talking, shooting glances around the bar but refusing to let his eyes rest on your empty Hoegaarden. Unless you’re on an actual date, he’s as likely to spend money on you as he is to choose “Livin’ on a Prayer” on the jukebox. (And let’s be honest, if you are on a date you’re probably sneaking into a chained-off part of Coney Island at 1 in the morning, and at best he’s kindly letting you take pulls of Jim Beam from his flask.)

Oh, and he probs won’t pay for the cab home, either. He may even jump out and strut over to open your door, making like a gentleman while simultaneously leaving you to deal with the blinking meter.

This isn’t about his complete lack of financial resources. It’s because he’s a feminist. The twenty-first century is all about equality, babe.

(Photo)

like EVERY NIGHT at the mont.

the dentist is the best thing to happen to this town

erin doing her best maenad impression. orgy forthcoming.

<3 hillcats wednesdays!

i spotted a new tooth on the drive home tonight!

[click here for the story behind the teeth]

i spent 78% of my three-day trip floating down the james river, doing crossword puzzles while jeff fished.

it was the best vacation i’ve ever had.

as some of you may know, i am making my first serious foray into being more outdoorsy by participating in this year’s james river batteau festival! this means that one week from today, i’ll be spending three days canoeing on the james river and camping in the foothills of the blue ridge between lynchburg and richmond.

i am alternately really excited and pretty nervous for reasons that i will now lay out in list form for your reading enjoyment.

exciting!
+ new outfits! as i told G at outdoor trails, i will do anything if i can buy a new pair of shoes for it (and i did - check out my new hippie sandals!)
+ enjoying the natural beauty that is the commonwealth of virginia, which i truly take for granted
+ quality bonding time with the guys (and jordan!)
+ working on my tan
+ lots of hunky outdoorsy dudes doing manly, wilderness-type things
+ using this experience in a memoir that i will inevitably write
+ proving all the naysayers (i.e. my mom, roommate, coworkers, and everyone who has ever met me) that i can survive in the wild for three straight days

nerve-racking!
+ surviving in the wild for three straight days
+ working on a third-degree sunburn (i tend to skip tan and go straight to tomato)
+ the very real possibility that there are mostly hippies on this trip. hippies!
+ realizing that i am in no physical shape to paddle a canoe for three days
+ possibly killing one (or all) of the guys, because this will be the most time we have spent together as a group ever.